Monday, August 07, 2006

Why do women exsist?

5. Females

Sheriff: Oh, you want my job?
Vic: No, we don't want your job! We just want a little protection!
Sheriff: Protection!
Vic: Yeah!
Sheriff: Protection! Certainty! Assurance! Security!
Vic: (Lost) Well, yeah. That too, I guess.
Sheriff: (In a fit) You want confidence! A pledge! Safety! Guarantee! Promises! Expectation! Consideration! Sincerity! Selflessness! Intimacy. Attraction. Gentleness. Understanding. An understanding without words. Dependence without resentment. (Begins trailing off.) Affection...To belong...Possession...Loss.
Mike: Hey, Sheriff, everything OK at home?
Sheriff: (Weakly) Why do women exist?
~Simple Men

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
~Margaret Mead

Women are an elusive breed. Yes, there are exceptions to every statement ever, every generalization. But those generalizations, cliches and stereotypes, no matter how skewed they might be are based in some truth. Women are a confusing bunch. I truly believe that at one point in our long history as human kind, we spoke different languages. I blame our forbearers for the terrible communication breakdowns and the different trains of thought they we now have. That being said, I will go into why women do exsist and why, although they are a difficult species, they are great. It's a double edged sword.

I've been in only a few relationships in my life. I'd like to say I still have a shit load to learn. I feel like I have been in love. I had two excellent long term relationships that I truly look back on with full accomplishment and growth. Although both ended in some depressing ways, I feel as though maybe I can fully move on from the hurt that comes from the end of something so close. And females, well, I can't blame them, and you can't blame those individuals either. I can either blame Jupiter again or take Epictetus' advice and say that I'm not sad because what I wish had happened didn't, but rather I am happy that things turned out the way they did because I had no control on those circumstances. I'd like to say that I could have. But that is a lie. Nothing was in my control and maybe I have finally learned to appreciate the situation at hand. That is also a lie.

I am disgustingly dependent and it's not cool. The thing I like the most about females is the fact that I can have a different outlet for conversation. Yeah, I can talk to my guy friends about things, but there is something special about when you are in a relationship with a lady and there is some sort of other plane connection that makes for much better conversation about the philosophy of life, love and happiness. It's probably the thing I miss the most of my past relationships.

"A self is a relationship that relates to itself." So I guess I take this a different way than is meant, but I definitely feel a lot more comfortable with myself when I have a relationship that relates to myself. That is a stretch, but it's definitely true. I'm not saying I need to be happy with someone else. I am, for the most part, a happy, optimistic person. But I feel like I am ready after some time of searching both my soul and looking around the horizon for a new relationship, that it's time to get back in the game. Not that its a game, but I am looking for the next Ms. Right.

Females are confusing, but not so much that it annoys me. I get frustrated with the mixed messages that they can sometimes send, but everyone does that. It's just a matter of understanding and opening the lines of communication better.

That's really all I have to say about the women. Care to enlighten me, my female readers? I mean, I am obviously not a horrible guy. I'd like to say I'm well above mediocre. So prove me wrong that women are looking for mediocre. Let me find someone looking for someone who is above average. Yes, I am tooting my own horn, but I'd like to seperate myself from most men out there.


Meg said...

oh paul. this was slightly disappointing, for i thought that you would have more personally to say on the subject. I also have to disagree with Margaret Mead. and with Calvin and Hobbes, as much as i hate to disagree with them, because I used to be the queen of procrastination.

Sara said...

Here's the thing about women. We don't look for guys that are mediocre. We want Mr. Right just like you want Ms. Right. But women in general are self loathing, at least, that's how I feel we are, so naturally we're very insecure. (Not every woman ever, but a good bit of us.) That means we'll settle for someone who shows us a little attention. He might not be what we're looking for, but he's good enough for right now. Not all the time, but I've certainly done it, and any woman that says she hasn't settled for Mr. Okay is a liar. And when we settle, we pass by the amazing guys. It's a vicious cycle, but you boys do it too, haha.

That being said, you are in no way mediocre. Funny, adorable, caring, you don't try and hurt women, and you're smart as hell. Chicks dig that. It's just... we sometimes settle, and sometimes we don't even realize the fabulousness of a man until we pass him by.

I think I rambled and I'm not sure if that makes any sense. Sorry.

d said...'re not asking why women exist, you're asking why relationships exist.

2. you do have an amount of control over the situations that happen to you in relationships. you don't need me to tell you that.

3. i don't think the relationship choices people make have anything to do with mediocrity or above-averageness of a particular person. certain personalities click. certain people click because they are at a compatible time in their lives. others identify with one another because they've learned the same lessons in life about what they do and don't want. some people come together because they're bored or lonely or any other number of variables and it becomes comfortable to be with that person.

4. what it comes down to is that you need to narrow the scope of your question from that which encompasses the entire universe to that which encompasses a small slice to which people can answer.

5. your will always be perfect to someone. you just won't be above mediocre in the eyes of many. take that as a blessing, because otherwise you'd spend all your time trying to swat off women instead of coming to some enlightening conclusions that could aid you in entertaining a more fulfilling relationship next time.

6. if you're going to make generalizations, make them about the human race. we get lonely, we pair off. sometimes we wander, we hurt people, we forgive or we move on. and the process continues until the non-animal logic takes over and we decide that another person is more important than our selfish desires. the problem is that generally it takes a while to get to that unselfish point.