Thursday, November 30, 2006

Guilty Pleasures

George sent me a forward with his top 5 guilty pleasure songs. It was pretty awesomely guilty with songs by Creed, Kelly Clarkson, Phil "The Schill" Collins and even that Panic! @ The Disco shit song. So I had a hard time coming up with music because I'm not guilty about some of the crappy stuff I listen to, but I know it's cheesey and lame and un-music-snobbish which I guess sometimes I can come off as. So here is a list (yeah... im gonna be doing some lists again.. helps me quit the writers block) of my top 10 guilty pleasures in media. Not just music. Movies, TV, whatever.

10. Three's Company- It wasn't until I saw this on TV Land one night hanging with a nice gal from Jefferson that I forgot how much this show ruled. John Ritter and Jack Klugman were really the only actual great draws of the show, but the classic 70's sitcom jokes and overacting are just too amazing for me to not love. I figured watching it now that I'm older and more into good programming if not any programming at all, that it would suck. Nah dude. The show was still deliciously funny in its reused joke way. Great slapstick and Three Stooges routines tagged in with tons of sexual innuendo is a recipie for yes.

RIP John Ritter. You were pretty friggin great.

And no offense Don Knotts, but Jack Klugman is much better than you ever could have been.

9. U2's Pop- Oh boy. Let the complaints fly. So this is where U2 started to suck, yet I friggin' love it. Since when did a band that made respectable pop rock-and-roll music decide to do an almost unclassifiable genre of music? It's not quite dance pop or even quite new wave or techno. It's... just strange. It's addictive, it's fun, and it's lame. So I have to include it. That and I own the CD. Yes, I have a hard copy of it. Ugh. Gotta love every sappy lame second. "Discotecque" and "Staring at the Sun" are great singles, yet the unclassifiable sound stays strong throught the whole album. The song "Please" is somewhat pathetic in a glorious way. I can't handle how much I love it. It's been a while since I popped it in, so I think its time to relive the magic.

8. Anything Amanda Bynes touches (hopefully me someday [is she legal?])- This is probably the most embarassing and should be number one, but it's less of I actually like this stuff and more I have private jokes that stem back to Wow Video days about What a Girl Wants. Regardless, of all the teeny-bopper actresses out there, Ms. Bynes is a true winner. Well, not really. Her show the Amanda Show... really fucking annoying yet I couldn't not watch it on a Satruday night at Wow to halt the looping of a preview tape. That and What a Girl Wants were my saving grace. WaGW is surprisingly funny and clever with so much Colin Firth that I can't handle it. I really need to see She's the Man.

7. Heart's entire catalogue- Preemptive shut up to Drew Lazor. The Wilson sisters know how to rock. And songs like "Magic Man", "Crazy on You" and "Straight On" or so delisciously processed 70's anthem rock with a touch of estrogen that you would think I should hate it. Nah dude. Love em and am pretty proud of it. So they aren't really a guilty pleasure, but they are because I know people will harsh on Heart. Well, don't. They are great. Check out some videos of them in the glory days too. They are HOT too! Until they got huge. Then they weren't as much.

6. Huey Lewis and the News- The epitome of cheesey 80's pop music, yet somehow really great musically. Huey has an awesome voice, strangely hardcore stage prescence (yes, i've watched concert movies of The News) and his backing band rules. "Hip to be Square" was a childhood favorite thanks to the show Square One on PBS. Remember that shit? I hated math, but Huey could make me like it. "Heart and Soul" was one of my anthems of 2004, the best year of all time. "The Heart of Rock and Roll" is so bad it rules, "If This Is It" has harmonies straight form the heavens. Oh man, and don't forget his amazing scene in Back to the Future and his TWO awesome songs from the song (mainly "Power of Love".) It never ends how great Huey is.

5. Lionel Ritchie- More of a sentimental thing, but Lionel holds a place in my heart forever. Between the funny centerfolds in his vinyl records and the amazingly awesome 80's style rythm and blues (if you can even call it that), Lionel is just the man. He also seems like an amazing guy. In interviews he doesn't take himself seriously and his videos are equally as tongue in cheek rediculous.

4. The Cardigans' "Love Fool"- All of the Cardigans stuff rules, but my sick obsession with "Lovefool" is scary. It has nothing to do with the shitty movie it was in and has nothing to do with anything that is nostalgia based. It's just an infectious song. Not to mention Nina Persson has an amazingly sexy voice. Anything from the Nordic countries is solid gold easy action sweet sassy malassy yestival in my head. Especially "Love Fool"

3. Phil Collins- Between his solo acts and his time in Genesis, this man accomplished making more cheesey goodness music than any other artist of all time. His voice is so freaking creepy and his bald headed shrimpy stature freaks me out. But man can this man write a catchy fucking song. "I Can't Dance" has some of the most retarded lyrics ever... "Young punk spilling beer on my shoes, Fat guys talking to me trying to steal my blues. Thick smoke, see her smiling through. I never thought so much could happen just shooting pool." Not that much really happened there, Phil. Yet I can't stop listening to it. "Invisivle Touch", GOULD! "Sussudio"... YES. MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE! My God I should not enjoy this as much as I do. Yet here I am blasting this at work... right now, I'm alone in the office. Now if THAT'S not a guilty pleasure, I don't know what is.

2. Soap Opera's- Now these last two are really guilty. I have to admit it, ever since I was little, I was forced into watching these pieces of shit. After that many years, you learn to love them. Between All My Children and General Hospital, I can still pick up story lines and characters and get sucked right back into watching them. Thank God I work during the day because it's really a love hate ordeal here, but you just can't stop watching. The over-the-top drama, the insane implausible storylines and the sexy chicks make it worth it. I am still working on an essay comparing Soap Opera's and Professional Wrestling because they are the same thing except one doesn't have greased up, jacked up dudes beating the shit out of others like them. Regardless, they are both sucky. But ya gotta love it.

1. MTV's Next- Oh boy. So bad. So So So So bad. Yet when I see it on a Saturday and a marathon continues, it's the end of my weekend. I get sucked in so hardcore that its hard to stop. Next, for those who don't know, is the most insane dating show MTV has ever had on the air. a lucky gal/girl gets to choose when their date ends and then they get another person (with a cap of 5 dates). So if some chick comes off the bus and is busted as balls, you can say NEXT! and they have to about face (*but not before they get all bitchy at you) and get back on the bus. The kicker here is if you last any amount of time, you get that much in cash. So if you are on a date for 45 minutes and get nexted, BANG-O! SHOW ME THE MONEY! Now, if the contestant gets asked on a second date, they now get the upper hand. They can either say "Sure I'll go out with you again" OR say "Fuck that, give me the greenbacks." This leads to some excellent excellent situations. My personal all time favorite was this:
Some toolio OC fag is on the beach waiting for his first lady. She gets off the bus, walks about 75 yards down the beach to meet this guy and he Next's her right after seeing her horseface. She walks her skanky ass back to the bus. Next girl comes out. She has a tube top on and her gut is flapping in the wind. She is about 60 yards away, not even close enough to see his face and he cups his hands around his mouth and screams "NEXT!" Wow. What a dick. Doesn't even let her See him. The money show was later on when the ladies are talkin about him the one asks "What does he look like?" First girl makes some dumb comment that he was the ugliest man ever. The second girl goes "I don't know what he looks like, I didn't get close enough to see his face." YES! GIVE ME MORE FEED FEED FEED! It's so bad that you have to watch. The lines they feed these 20 somethings are amazing and the idiots they find are great. No wonder Leo hates Cali to an extent. The gene pool are all douchebags and sorority whores. Next has to be my #1 guilty pleasure.

So that's that. Several days in the works, it is now complete.

Now. Discuss. What are your guilty pleasures?


j. leo said...

Journey isn't really a true guilty pleasure, and if I said that my girlfriend would dump me and Drewber would ignore me forever. But watch the Seperate Ways video and tell me this isn't 80's cheese greatness.

As much as I hate reality shows, America's Next Top Model and Top Chef are fairly addictive.

j. leo said...

Oh, and I still listen to early Dave Matthews now and then, but I contend that there is less guilt here than you think because he wasn't such a sellout then. Their early live gigs are college jam band mixed with country rock, straight out fo the 60's.... not at all like now. Still, it's not something I'm extremely proud of.

Steve said...

DMB: The fact that he's a "sellout" is not what makes it guilty. It's...that he's just not very good. His music is completely uninspired and unfairly gets lumped in with The Dead and other deserving artists just because of his hippie (and frat guy)-alluring nature.

(Not gonna lie, Paul. Also love Next.)

NICKEL said...

My favorite marathon "Next" episodes are the ones "jam packed" with the gay guys. When one is called to get off the bus, they each take turns slapping his butt and yelling "Go get him, bitch!" It happens with the gay boys EVERY TIME.

Favorite Gay "Next" Moment: When two boys flew on brooms in a Harry Potter themed date.

And.. other guilty pleasures.. Kelly Clarkson & One Tree Hill.

Meg said...

i totally agree with the huey lewis and the news. i heart them, mainly because of back to the future.

stay tuned to my blog for my list.

j. leo said...

I say maybe Stev's right, but perhaps they could have been great. They had a chance to ebcoem something unique. How many bands do you know that have a voilin and flute/sax prominently involved? Now they sound liek everyone else. Yeah, if he was really great, that wouldn't happen, but he at least had a chance to be something intersting... and didn't.

Well, either way, it's a guilty pleasure that I'm not proud of.

Face of Spades said...

Honestly, Junior, you don't have much to be guilty about cos most of that stuff is pretty great. Especially Next! I only saw that show once but it was almost as great as Flavor of Love.

(just kidding but I seriously could not stop watching Flavor of Love)

Drew said...

And somewhere Chuck D continues crying himself to sleep every night, and the hard ass hype in all of dies a little more...

You're right Justin, don't you EVER say there's anything guilty about loving the Greatest Band Ever™. I can't even speak their name anymore, lest the Magnificent One smite me from on high.

My guilty pleasures? I do listen to Phish fairly often (it's easy to ignore at work); people who aren't reading this think it's weird that I watch Gilmore Girls a lot (seriously Lorelai WTF?!?!!); and I just listened to Less Than Jake last week and loved every second of it.

j. leo said...

Phish and Gilmore Girls are two of the main pillars of my life.

Maybe I shouldn't be so easy on Journey...

but I will be. I need love.

Anonymous said...

Want to see some “real” flower power?

j. leo said...


C. Thomas Howell's War of the Worlds is now playing every so foten on Sci-Fi. I tuned in just in time to catch Jake Busey's rant.

Now you KNOW this is a guilty pleasure!!!!

Anonymous said...

J. Leo, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about liking ANTM. It's fucking brilliant.

Any and all types of fast food
Trashy gossip mags
John Tucker Must Die

Billy Zane movies

Crotch said...

Paul. After reading all that the only thing I remember is that you used the word BANG-O! It made my day.

crotch said...

Also, I hear nothing but good things about "She's the Man"...... from my little sister.