Blue Line Swinger

It was been wriit.

The Wii is in da house.

And it is wonderful.

So far I have Wii Sports, Wii Play and Zelda: Twilight Princess. They are shaping up to be the single most awesometastical video gaming experience I have yet to experience. And here is why. Although the graphics to the Wii don't hold a dime to either XBOX 360 (which if you have a HDTV is the most glorious looking video game experience and it's a lot of fun too) or PS3 (which I have yet to actually see anyone I know play or have one), it really nails the aspect of what video games should be: interactive and fun. So far, Wii Sports is the champion of fun.

On to other things that excite me.

First there was these:

And then there was this:

Basically a wam-blam-thank you ma'am of awesome movie going experiences. First I want to talk about Grindhouse and it's two films plus trailers.

Planet Terror was your basic zombie gore fest laden with blood, balls, Bruce Willis and bad-ass go-go dancers. The acting was cheesey, the stroy-line was cheeseir and the action sequences were anything but covered in cheese. It was pure fun. Good one liners, good use of Fergie getting pwned and a fucking Goonie as a doctor (and my personal dynamic relationship in the movie.) The chicks were hot, but where was the skin? Not needed as the purposely well placed missing reel told us. One thing Rodriguez and Tarantino strayed from was a lot of sex and boob shots which usually liter these kind of shlocky movies. And ya know what? It worked. Even thought they paid tribute to the 70's exploitation films, they didn't exploit the actors. Kudos.

The trailers were awesome. Machete should be made into a feature length and is getting press that it will be, Don't was a gloriously awesome one-liner from the guys who bring you the final review in this post, Werewolf Women of the S.S. had the best cameo of all time, and Thanksgiving looked the most like a crappy 80's slasher movie.

Then there was Death Proof. With it's Kurt Russel factor, amazingly gorgeous babes, awesome soundtrack and the most insane car chase scene I have ever seen. People harsh on Death Proof because it's so... badly structured. But as a film lover, it is a little too perfect. I recently saw a shitty movie from the 70's aptly titled Sssssss. Yes. Seven s's like a hissing snake. It was basically like Death Proof except no cars or babes. Just real snakes, snake stunts and an old man reading Walt Whitman... to a snake. It's about 90% meaningless dialogue and I wish there were reels missing when I saw it. Instead I fast forwarded. Regardless, the point here is Death Proof is like a lot of those 70's movies. It's a perfect throwback to the shitty movies that came out in that era. Except, it's way better because at least Tarantino can write interesting dialogue.

Then there was Hot Fuzz. Another kind of spoof movie. Paying tribute to such films as Point Break and Bad Boys....II. It was probably one of the greatest spoof movies of all time. It hit every genre convention on the head with a giant frying pan. And it did what Shaun of the Dead did for Zombie movies. It poked fun of them at the same time fit in with them. It was too good. Having Simon Pegg as the straight man was a stroke of genius. Also, I look forward to more Nick Frost/Simon Pegg team ups as they are an electric on screen duo. Any scene with those two at a pub will be great. I'm just hoping pub scenes like the ones in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz to come. I don't know why those scenes stuck out for me, but I found it kinda hilarious both movies had them. I guess thats what it's like in jolly old England.

From Black to Blue

Happy 200, blog! It's nice to see that I still write with you.

Back on the East Coast today. The trip was awesome. Here is the highlight reel in usual top ten form.

10. Chatting with Danno, Muller and the beautiful Tara Fleck whilst taking public transit. I know this sounds retarded, but it was lonely on the transit buses for two hours and they kept me happy.

9. Finding the Henry Fool script for 4 bucks at a random bookstore near the UCB theater.

8. Drinkin' brews at the Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

7. Santa Monica peir and seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time.

6. Amoeba Records where I horked on the following: VHS copy of Grosse Pointe Blank, DVD of Sonic Youth's early years music videos, LP's of Pete Townshend's Empty Glass, David Bowie's Lodger and King Crimson's Starless and Bible Black

5. Singing Karaoke at the Brass Monkey along side American idol hopeful Jordin Sparks. She was pretty good. But I'm not going to lie when I say my rendition of Weezer's "Say It Ain't So" wasn't amazing. That and this one really hot chick serenaded me with some Lisa Loeb. And there were two seperate whipits references. Amazing.

4. Electric Six on the Sunset Strip @ the Key Club. The first two bands, however, were horrible. One was a fucked up cross between Eve 6, Def Leppard and She Wants Revenge while the other was the Killers. Well they were under a different name, keeping a low profile, but it sounded exactly like the killers. Regardless, their was this random group of dudes who all wore fake mustaches for E6 and basically filled in for the La Sallian goons who usually make E6 shows that much more insane.

3. In-And-Out Burger vs. Tommy Burger

2. Hot Fuzz at the Arclight Theater. I do not look forward to seeing movies on the east coast anymore. And Hot Fuzz was fecking incredible.

1. ASSSCAT! at the UCB theater. If only more of you goons were out there this weekend. The quotes I want to share with you will not ever get the laughs they deserve. (quote tirade.... RAM JAM!, Names aren't supposed to have grammer in them!, You know I'm gonna run on that one, apologize to this bear puppet and bears all around the world... yea and to this puppet of the Sear's Tower...Where's the mouth on that puppet? The 97th floor... You're the reason my daughter was hit in the face with a fist, Fuck You Richard Gere!, You want to bring it up a level from that?!?, You are being served with divorce papers, Broken bottles? Detective Pipes? Molitov Cocktails? Does anyone have any other definitions for Ram Jam?)

Detouring America With Horns (A Prelude)

This weekend marks a transcendent momentous event in my life. I am traveling on my own. Everything is booked, scheduled and ready to go. One and a half days left until I visit the West Coast for the first time. I am more than excited. I'm anxious, nervous and chomping at the bit at the thought of flying across this great country solo.

My initial worries are, of course, will the Philadelphia Airport fuck up my luggage? Well, I really shouldn't care about that because I'm not bringing much. It's only 3 days where I am used to packing for at least a whole week if not more. My next concern was, what happens if I get stuck to some creepy Tyler Durden type who ends up annoying me for my flight? Fuel for writing is what I say. I plan on writing, reading and listening to as much Yo La Tengo as possible. In fact, I will be working on a 7 hour playlist of various indie, classic, punk and folk rock jams for this trip. I'm also concerened about navigating the great monster that is teh L.A. Public Transportation System. After a massively long flight PLUS long layover in Texas, I am going to have to travel yet another 2 hours by bus and rail just to get to my destination. I might just spend the extra cash for a taxi/shuttle/limo to get to Sunset and Vine.

Past all the boring travel stuff (which I plan on being plastered for when I arrive in Ontario Airport), here is my itinerary

FRIDAY
Arrive at Sunset and Vine approx 6:30 for some amazing Vinyl hunting at Amoeba Records
Electric Six @ The Key Club around 8-9pm
Justin Leo's for a night of slacking and catching up

SATURDAY
In-And-Out Burger/Diner Trip
ASSSSCAT! @ 8pm at the UCB Theater
Brass Monkey for Karaoke
Doc's Hard Radio for the night

SUNDAY
Hollywood Blvd. (I won't step on Gretta Garbo)
Checking out the Pacific Ocean (?possibly?)
Hot Fuzz Viewing?
Early to bed

Then it's back to Philly. And the dream will be over. Until then, it's just anxiety until I'm actually in the O.C. (don't call it that.)

The Way Some People Die

So it goes. Sad times for Vonnegut fans. One of the most influential writers in my life. I guess we all know what that means. Time to read some Vonnegut again. Player Piano is still collecting dust form when I bought it so it's time to crack that one open.

In other assorted news, the Film Festival so far has been awesome. Here is a recap of what I have checked out. My official last movie is tonight, so I will write more about that at a later date.

About a Son: Kurt Cobain- One of the most unique and original "non-fiction" films I have ever seen. It's not quite a documentary. It's more of an audio journal with images overlayed. It was a unique experience, but I don't think the style of the film really works in general. It worked for this story, but I don't know if it would work for other stories. The audio was all Cobain interviews as well as a bitchin' soundtrack including Queen, Butthole Surfers, Bowie (hmm... I wonder which song) and Creedence. Not a single Nirvana song which was kind of strange, but it's about Kurt and not Nirvana although its hard to seperate the two. It was definitely well executed and interesting to learn about Cobain as an individual.

Fay Grim- Bias City. I mean, of course I loved it. It's Hal Hartley. Basically, this is a psuedo-sequel to Henry Fool. Only in the fact that the characters are the same and it deals with Herny's "Confessions." But beyond that its a zany spy thriller with Parker Posey stuck in the middle of the whirlwind of international espionage. It's a jab at sequels in how they have to be more violent, more sexual and more ridiculous than it's predocessor and it's a mocking of a directors own characters. Ryan hit the nail on the head when he said this is Hartley's Life Aquatic because its a director making fun of his own style and writing while at the same time writing a great story. Goldblum was in it too, so you can't go wrong. Naysayers of Henry Fool may enjoy this because its not paced like HF, and it has nothing to do with the same themes. It's really goofy yet at somepoints heartwrenching just like any Hal Hartley movie. Plus Parker Posey is at her all time hottest in this movie. Grrrowl.


Away From Her- Sarah Polley of Dawn of the Dead and many many indie films takes a stab and writing and directing. For a first outing, it's definitely a good film. All about Alzheimers and how one man deals with his wife wasting away due to the detrimental disease, it's sad and enlightening. The pacing is a little strange, but the acting effort of Julie Christie (the rumors are true!) and the dead on accurate portrayal of people with Alzheimers makes this a good drama to check out. HOWEVER! When I was in high school I worked at an Alzheimers home and wrote a short story/play script about my experiences. And in this script I used a montage (even Rocky had a montage) scene using a Neil Young song. Well, this movie had the same themes and uses a different Neil Young song! WTF! Sarah Polley is stealing my thunder....

Tonight is Dante's Inferno, a cartoon up-to-date adaptation of the classic story. Dermot Mulroney is going to be there. It has the vocal talents of Master Shake, Buster Bluth and Adair of UCB. Yes.

Music- I've been listening to tons of Yo La Tengo, pretty much only Yo La Tengo since I changed the format of this blog, but I guess that's just where my state of mind is. Mellower stuff to like "Night Falls On Hoboken" and "Today is the Day" style.

My Onion Horoscope for today is true:
Leo July 23 - August 22
If there's a drinkable liquid in the world that doesn't cause loss of motor function, impaired judgment, slurred speech, dehydration, and eventual unconsciousness, you don't want to know about it.

What Comes Next

I moved in. It rules. A few people have seen it. They rule. Come visit. You will then officially rule. Just gimme a ring. Only people who rule have my cell phone number and I'm not telling you here what it is if you in fact, do not rule. We can hang, drink a few beers and enjoy the tiny nature of my apartment. If you want to rule, bring some brews or any other welcoming gifts. Consumables if possible. That would rule.

There is one thing, however, that does not rule. I have been having really effed up dreams ever since I moved in to this new place. Ms. Michelle "I wish I was as cool as Mike" Muller reminded me of this when she asked for me to write about her. Well, altho she was in one of these said fucked up dreams of anxiety, heartbreak and denial. Here is the basic structure of every dream, so I would call it a recurring dream.

1. Setting: The setting for each dream is always in some sort of institutionalized (just one Pepsi) type building. A school mostly. Not any particular school, but it's usually a building consisting of narrow hallways, flights of stairs and random rooms.

2. Characters: Usually involves someone of the female species that I have either been infatuated with, in a relationship with or at least found attractive. This female character then gets involved with someone close to me, a friend, family member or a non-existent person that just acts as that sort of close male friendship.

3. The Plot Thickens: Usually when someone you are attracted you rejects you, you get pissed, hurt whatever. This happens in the dream then...

4. Dreamlike Event: Something really out of the blue happens. Now this happens in all dreams, but the setting dramatically changes and something really freaky happens. You can use your imagination here.

5. Finale: I end up trying to avoid both the crazy event and the woman who broke my heart, but this woman won't giv eup in rubbing it in my face that shes happy and moved on or at least just happier with this new person.

Here is your test. What comes next? Whoever can make the best dream to fit in this skeleton of a plot will win a free six-pack of your choice. Of course, I will rate what your interpretations of the dreams AND your own storyline. Remember to keep these details in mind.

HAPPY WRITING!

Today is the Day

Last Drink Top Ten

10. Drinking Johnny Walker Red whilst on stage
9. Pouring Russel's Reserve in my Stroh's Beer can
8. Hanging with the boys of BMD during the party
7. Singing "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner" with Muller and Danno
6. "Love is Like Water" with the toy gun solo
5. The Napkin Game at Marlton Diner with Stef, Danno, Kavan, Knarr, Warren, Rob and George
4. Chunt
3. Joe Sharp's Hurricane Tattoo
2. Black Market Dynamite and Noringo sharing the stage for a night of amazing rock.
1. Punting Beers into the woods at 5 a.m.