I realize as I sit here contemplating existence like I often do at 12:29 am. It's as good a time as any to think about life and such. As Tengo plays, I wonder why certain elements of life go the way they do. Is it because of free will? God's plan? Genetics? Blame Jupiter? Who knows. Let's just say that life will find a way. I wonder question what it is I should do with myself. I enjoy my job, but it kind of leaves me empty inside. I haven't written a damn thing worth noting or keeping around since I started this job. But it might not be the jobs fault. It could be that I'm not a writer. That kinda sets me back. But who is anything if they don't get up and do it. I think that I need to get focused. Get to the point is what you are saying. Well, it's time to fucking do something with myself besides sleep, eat, work, and enjoy the fruits of my youth. Now that a year since graduation is almost here, it's time to face that lack of expectation may be true. Maybe nothing is out there specific for me to do."Tiny birds sit patiently side by side on a wire."
2 comments:
it's not that you're not a writer.
Dude, don't worry. Everyone goes through that feeling after graduation. I was scared until I found out everyone was asking themselves what the fuck too. Very few of us have any idea about deep matters right now, and those who do are usually narrow-minded ultra-religous types who choose the simplest path of explanation.
I don't know if this makes you feel any better (it doesn't for me always, but I enjoy the humor)... but I see the work of "pro" writers everyday and it often sucks. Sooooo... don't get down, it's not as hard as you think.
OH yeah, I was thinking that if you're gonna move to West Philly near Penn/Drexel, i should totally hook you up with Chris Curry's info. You might remember my (and Dannos') old pal / roomate / Beck lover from retreakends and such. He's a classy guy with exquisite taste.
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